I'll live for all my days to put a smile on Your face

Friday, April 29, 2005

im super grumpy today.actualli since yesterday.i blame it on the stupid weather.its super hot i tell u.singapore is like one big boiling pot,n we people r the ingredients in it.we're slowly melting away.i hate today.i got angry with caroline,jane n saajida.over petty issues.i over-anaylysed every one's actions.i got pissed off at the littlest things.i felt life had no meaning.but through out the whole day i still had my normal face on.like everything was fine n dandy.pls.no.
i hate it wen ppl ignore me.its like they dun care wat i haf to say.sheesh.y am i so angry.

6:49:00 pm

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

had the bio CA today.i didnt tink i wld even ace the test b4 i took it,cos i didnt study that hard for it.but aft i took it.i realised.i shd haf studied way way way harder.i just hope i pass now.i duno how im gona do science in jc.die.speaking of jcs,i wanted to go to vjc first.but now my frens were tokin abt acjc.how its all dat n shit,n i realised vj was like so boring.but ill nvr fit in at ac,i noe that,cos fr wat i hear,im not like them.but where else can i go?none of the jcs appeal to me at the moment.n cos of dat im not even motivated to study hard to get into a jc.sheesh.n im tinking of the process of making new frens n all.i realised one of the main reasons y i am enjoying tkgs now,besides being in a fabulous class,is cos of drama club,the many frens ive made tru there,n i haf no plans watsoever to join drama in jc.i prob wana join the animal welfare society in vj if i go there.n dats not exactly a place to meet many ppl.im scared of going to a new sch.wat if i dun fit in?how den!but tokin to jane just now made me realise that most of all,i want to go to a sch where jane n caroline will be in.going to diff jcs will prob split us apart n i dun wan that to happen.aiya.thats enuf worrying for a day.must learn to live it to God. let go.i wana go slp now.though it is kinda late for a nap.haha..but i shd clean snowy first.no i tink il slp then clean snowy's cage.aiya if only all the decisions i haf to make wld be as easy as that one.

5:37:00 pm

Sunday, April 24, 2005

frens come n go i guess.
anyway saw the cute guy in ncc today!!!eeek!!!wat a cutie!!he was wearing blue again!but he's wearing glasses now.so his cutness has dropped half a level.but he's still cute.but u noe wat he only glanced at me.u noe hu he looked at,right in the eye?kimberly.not fair i tell u.i hope this nvrs happens once we get older n more serious.imagine. the guy u like fall for ur sister.totally not nice.i just ate ice cream.the flavour was Summerberry.sounds so wierd,but is actually realli nice n sweet!yummy!!but now im back to feeling hot again.as in temp hot.i tink i shd go slp.den study bio.respiration is a very hard topic i realised.die.
i realli like the song kiss me.so romantic.n sweet.n full of happiness.like in lala land..haha..
Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

4:21:00 pm

Saturday, April 23, 2005

we got just a silver 4 syf drama.results were released on fri aft sch.i was ok wit it at first.den it sunk in.WE.GOT.A.SILVER.den i started to tear up,tears of dissappointment.wat made it worse was wen alemay hugged me n told me,dun worry,u did great,u shd b proud of urself.den i was realli sad.cos i for one,noe that it wasnt my best performance out there.i feel ive let myself n others down.i tink there was something lacking in our play,n i kinda expected a silver,but i just didnt want to accept it thats all.but God has a plan always,n still thank Gd we had a silver.count our blessings.had speech day today.i cant believe i forgot to smile at the cameraman.haha..n summore i was practising my smile earlier on.wasted only.haha..so received a $30 mph voucher.i tink i deserve a bk.i shall go find something worthwhile to spend on.which will prob b stationery.haha..changed my template.its a pic of the maldives.beautiful isnt it?sometimes i wish i cld just run away n hide myself there forever.i hope il visit that place somday.its like paradise.just pray i guess.k gtg slp now.waking up early tmr to go to newcreation church.im gona dresss up tmr.hope ill see that guy again,who sits in the auditorium every wk.yay!!haha..k gdnite!

11:01:00 pm

Monday, April 18, 2005

ok tmr is syf.tkgs drama club wants n needs a gold with honours.if thats possible..hahah..anyway,i haf a geog ca tmr.but somehow im not so scared for it.im more scared-er for syf.i hope we do our very best n everything goes well.I pray we get a goldor with honours.2 wks ago,i tot we were only capable of a certificate of participation.now im quite confident we can do better,with God's help.im supposed to b studying geog now.but im kinda slacking.again.i got 15/40 for my a math test.sigh.i was sure of passing.my mistakes?i wrote a plus instead of a minus,n lost 7+marks.i wrote a 5 instead of a 2,n lost 6 marks.i divided wrongly n lost 5 marks.plus other careless mistakes,n that qn i didnt noe,i only managed 15marks.i was on the verge of crying in class today.cos i knew i was capable of better.i cant believe it.tearing over an a math test.oh well,i guess this just proves one thing.im lousy at time management.i cant cope w/ drama taking up half of my time.i guess im not an all -rounder then.hahhah..ok gtg now.i haf to d well for geog.Dear Lord Jesus Christ,plsplspls help me.
n everyone,pls pray for drama to get a gold w/ honours.thank u.
my fingers r crossed,my faith's in God.

6:50:00 pm

Friday, April 08, 2005

i just read swampland #1.its utterly disgusting,but sooo interesting.anyone out there with swampland#2 aka Tankworld ,pls pls pls lend it to me.the only available copy is at woodlands library n there's no way im travelling all th way there.

today i realised one day, I wanna be the President of Singapore.it'll be an easy job.the PM gets all the dirty work.

i wanna be a great actress!one that will knock ppl's socks off their feet,make them gasp in amazement,stare at me in awe.yup thats what i wanna do.i'm scared for syf drama.im actually contented with just a silver,though everyone else is like aiming for gold with honours.i cant speak loud n clear enough.i just feel like i cant do it.

I want my faith back.im losing it slowly.i shd take control of my life now.stop letting temptation creep in,stop satan fr turning me away fr God.I need God deperately in my life now.I m praying for me,but why am i not feeling Him?HelpmedearLordJesusChrist.

It cant be true.he cant be like that.its tooo sick beyond thinking.eeeww.no way.im sad.he shouldnt,wouldnt,cant.den y am i taking their side?

I need God.now!

10:38:00 pm

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOTS N SALT!!!!!
my cats r 8 yrs old today!!they're so old!!n ive realised theyve been with me for like half my life already.wow!!!thats fast!!

9:07:00 pm

Friday, April 01, 2005

i got my hair cut today at this place in roxy square called mode.i was apprehensive at first cs the woman dere wasnt being nice wen she was gona cut saaji's hair,n she was practically chasing the rest of us out.i lost all faith in the shop wen a cockrosch ran out from under the chair i was sitting in n hid beneath some locks of hair near the hair-cutting chairs.but anway i cut my hair in the end,n i realli liked it wen she finished with it.at least my hair has shapE now.hahah..but now ive come home.im beggining to tink i look much older wit this hairstyle,n kinda look like aunty joan now. i dunno la..its just that my fringe is super short now.eee.but overall i look better now.

anyway.wat makes a best fren.aft that whole long talk,im not sure rite now.i dunno wat to do.i'll just pray la.for the best.

9:25:00 pm